I had a very, very similar experience myself – on a ‘Sanctuary Housing Association’ estate in Leeds.
At the time, I was writing my first book Quirky Claus, which took nearly ‘four years’ to complete, but achieving this on a slump estate “riddled” with alcohol and drug abuse… well to say it went somewhat ‘against the grain’ – is an understatement!
This… on an estate, which disgracefully had its freedom of expression in many respects… thoroughly ignored and repressed, by those in a position of responsibility.
Well, you can imagine a man writing a children’s book, being considered somewhat unconventional in ‘many walks of life,’ but on which, was without doubt myself living on an exceptionally socially dysfunctional estate… you can imagine I encountered more than my own quota of prejudice?
I was ‘beaten up’ regularly by neighbours, and the police in ‘Leeds’ used one excuse after another to “not” do anything meaningful about the problems, I myself and many others faced on this estate. There was an endemic attitude of denial, which was staggering, and all the while… shameful to behold!
In fact on one particular occasion… after being beaten up so badly, I had to call an ambulance; the police also arrived, but when I turned down the ambulance, as I did not wish to appear ‘diminished,’ or for that matter ‘beaten’ in both respects of the word – in front of these neighbours; I was instead “arrested” and I spent the night, one of a number due to the neighbours antics in a police cell! For all intents and purposes… the police in Leeds colluded with – those who resorted to bullying on this estate.
The injuries I received that night were so bad, some two weeks later, I was still experiencing symptoms of concussion.
On yet another occasion, I was busy writing my next book‘The Tallest Dwarf’ at half past ten on a Saturday night… when I similarly had the police call at my door, and I was arrested on a baseless accusation of assault, which was proven to be untrue incourt – as much as could be feasibly possible, which under the circumstances… considering there were numerous neighbours – who cowardly involved themselves in this bullying… were prepared to say anything to their shame and disgrace, in an effort to have myself convicted. Once more I had spent the night in a police cell, which you can imagine how aggrieved I felt – when I have spent years working on a weekend – up this point, and since. The police also wished to confiscate my computer, which I protested over vociferously… as this contained ‘all’ my writing, and I did actually win this small battle.. small victories – as they say! However despite the fact, I had been before physically assaulted by an Officer on a false arrest previously, and on this occasion, the police of officer in question – derided my first book… describing this as a ‘pamphlet!’
Some six years later… Quirky Claus as well as entirely selling out in dozens of stores, is in over 300 libraries, has been read by potentially thousands of children, and in the last recorded year – the borrowing figures through libraries… were the highest they had ever been!
“Another aspect of the cynical paradox of this situation was – in part, at the time I was visiting the Ilkley Literary, and people such as Dom Joly… partook of a copy of my book for his kids, and Joanne Harris – actually linked to my website – on seeing the story. ‘Here’ in these people – particularly Joanne… what I was trying to aspire to, was respected, and actively ‘encouraged’ but this should be the case throughout society, where anyone strive to be a better person and improve themselves!’ Nevertheless, to instead return home in fear and apprehension, and conversely not even have your most… very ‘basic’ rights respected, was abhorrently, and absolutely utterly wrong!!!
Can I also say please about those people who may have some prejudices about being ‘sectioned…’ that I actually became friends in there… and I had not realised this – until after my discharge, but the son of the actual Defence Secretary. The difference was – he committed himself, because he was not eating, due to personal issues; ‘I’ however was committed – I feel, for standing up for what I sincerelybelieved in, and simply because… I was striving for a better life, not just for myself, but for others!
Additionally the ward, actually in the time… I was there, released patients, who I considered were possibly a potentially a danger to themselves… if not others:
For instance, and this was one of the ‘almost’ humorous aspects of my internment – there was a particular patient who would follow me around the ward, and occasionally burst into song; apparently he believed I was “the” Secret Millionaire… from the Channel 4 programme, and was intent on doing X-Factor style auditions – at every available opportunity. When he elaborated to myself – on one occasion – of leaving on the next Saturday, I genuinely thought this was yet another – delusion of his, but sure enough they did discharge this chap, while disgracefully keeping interned some – who I am sure were more sane, than some of those who were actually running the circus, show, sorry… ‘ward!’
To summarize: weird or odd has to be considered in context: ‘odd’ in some places, and circumstances – is anybody who happens to be only a little bit different or even in just reaching for expectations and aspirations, which others may not recognise or be resentful of; even actually – just by the mere fact this person is exhibiting the courage in pursuing their dreams, they wish in truth – they could utilise that strength – themselves! We all in reality can do, all you have to do is believe…
Terry Pratchett expounded repeatedly on this misconception – on numerous occasions, in his Discword novels, that the perception between someone who is considered by society an ‘eccentric or conversely a ‘nut,’ and their social or class background, ie money! For example Lord Tootle Royd the 453rd, and his wife Izabella – can merrily spend their Sundays enjoying the many delights of indulging in their purpose built – funfair they have erected… ‘naked’ on a multi-acre estate; while Joe Bloggs on the local deprived… socially disenfranchised estate, could simply place a vegetarian sticker in his window, and be considered a ‘bit round the bonkers!’ * Since writing this latter remark, I have actually heard of story of a lady… who encountered much the same abuse as I did on a similarly deprived estate, because the locals had simply discovered… she was homeopath.
Disconcertingly from my own experience, something as simple as this, can be the catalyst and forerunner to years – of abuse, because people, in such situations, the perpetrators… usually feel excluded from society – themselves. Worse, that mere act could lead to one person being unduly bullied, and then because the causes of these issues are not recognised, and neither dealt with – other people follow like the proverbial unthinking sheep, because they know too often from experience… it is a case of bully or be bullied; this then can escalates to ‘full’ scale abuse and discrimination, and the person with initially good motives and intentions, instead… ‘conveniently’ in the eyes of the police – who are supposed to of course protect such brave and aspiring individuals, are instead – considered the cause!
However the real source of these problems… are in reality – the discrimination, and bullying, which exist on these estates – in the first place! The mistake the police are making is misdiagnosing, and therefore unfortunately identifying these unfortunate individuals – as the cause; when all they happened to do, was to inadvertently bring it to the fore – just by their mere presence – in just being themselves, and hence becoming the focus of this unwarranted attention. If a person’s personality is based on the positive strengths of being different, then they are left with nowhere else to turn! At times such as this, people consider suicide or actually commit the act, because they feel society is refusing to allow them to exist – for who they really are!
We should all be very, ‘very’ – wary, when society ‘any’ society – uses incarceration to silence dissenting voices, but perhaps considerably “more” so… when this is done under the guise or charade… of someone being mentally ill!
While, I’ve known a number of good Officers; however I have to say unfortunately… also been on the receiving end of – as nearly as many: bullying, ineffective, incompetent Officers. Who are equally as abusive, and at best… neglectful of their roles and duty to the society they should cherish; this was particularly my experience in England.
For instance on a Leeds Sanctuary Association estate… I had to endure “years” of problems with neighbours, to the extent: I was verbally abused, beaten up on a number of occasions; the neighbours lied… and I was arrested by the police time and time again, on false allegations. In fact, recently I have heard of a lady who was merely interested in homeopathy, and related subjects, living in an equally deprived area… she received a similar level of abuse and discrimination!
For all intents and purposes, and I am being ‘diplomatic…’ but the police “colluded” with the neighbours, in this debacle. Not all of them of course, but the general ‘process,’ meant trying to seek the easiest and simplest solution to the problem as possible for ‘them…’ at their convenience – regardless of the consequences to the individual. In reality they compounded the real problem, by turning a blind eye to the huge social inequalities, which were in many respects the major cause of the discrimination, prejudice, and bullying, which were ‘rife’ on the estate!
To place these issues in perspective… and why there “has” to be nothing less than a complete ‘top to bottom’ overhaul of the police service! While I was going through the related court case, and had to stand outside these judiciaries waiting for my judgement, at this time I’d considered suicide – many a time, because of the injustice of the situation, and my innate anger. In fact amongst all these other people who were mired in the protracted ‘self serving’ bureaucracy of the legal system… there was a kindly elderly couple waiting also… who appeared ‘entirely’ out of place – particularly considering the clientele – socially disadvantaged, and myself for that matter… to some extent: I cannot imagine the investigated – criminal profile of someone who was being accused of going on a social rampage, and a housing association estate; to boot – a general menace to others, and himself, having the criminal profile on investigation of having of a children’s book writer, and the patience, and dedication which a person – has to commit to this.
In any intelligent person’s mind… this hardly amounts to in reality to someone who is… intent on being a menace to society! The majority of writers… I would have thought, are actually quite the opposite, and are prepared to spend years of their lives making the commitment they feel is their own special contribution to our society.
Outside the courts… and I am not attempting to be disparaging in my assumptions… however most of these people were a hell of a lot younger… than this gentile couple, and unfortunately – fitted the usual stereotypes – at least in their manner and appearance! Nonetheless, I still maintain in large part, because the United Kingdom is a class ridden country, with little chance of upward ‘social mobility,’ which has actually become worse over the last ’30 years…’ that this is the essentially the essence – of the fundamental problem!
# This article, and particularly the cartoon – place the problem in stark context…social inequalitynot merely affects our earnest need and desire for a sense of fair play, but also ‘every’ area of our society including actually – economic growth… is negatively impaired!
However, not one to be deterred, I did make further enquiries and asked this elderly couple why they were present and mired in the protracted bureaucracy of the court ‘system?’ And it transpired – that they were here: because of all things… an Officer had said they had been abusive when they were arrested for speeding, and implied… from what I recall, they were charged with assaulting him! If you had seen this couple… who in their appearance were more reminiscent of a Werthers Original feature, you’d realise instantly – the abject absurdity of this.
This incident… was actually going back months! Apparently, as this couple expounded on further to the background of the case, they did not say as much, but what was suggested in reality was this: the Officer who had actually forgotten to process this case, had then confused the paperwork with another; then he proceeded to cover up for his ‘own’ mistake. Not realising evidently, that it was actually an elderly couple he was charging! In the disgraceful protracted, and neglectful bureaucracy of the Crown Prosecution Service, they were still called to court, and justifiably the case was ‘overturned!’
Their circumstances were in a different context, but certainly of a similar ilk to my own. Consider a ‘young chap on social welfare,’ on a run down estate riddled with drugs and alcohol abuse… who was experiencing bullying… because he was ‘different’ in aspiring to just do more with his life, and refused to be pulled down, by the repressive malaise, which was insidious, and insipid – on this deprived estate.
Notwithstanding this… still I managed to finish my first book *Quirky Claus… however in these circumstances, and it was my word against an Officer, or in my situation a ‘number’ of colluding Officers, who just wished an easy life, and followed the crass injustices of a grossly distorted system! Then I also had no one to particularly vouch for me, as writing is often for many by its nature a solitary pursuit, and therefore provide me with an alibi; also I have little family support – I can count on. Who would the court believe in such circumstances: however erroneous, misguided and – actually outlandish at times – the claims were by neighbours, and the Crown Prosecution Service, and Officers… all of who allowed the ‘system’ to override any sense of fairness and justice?
Due to the years of bullying I personally experienced, and this happened and was dealt with ineffectively in ‘several’ addresses for a considerable period – I had to then experience the indignity of receiving a charge of harassment from the police, because again – they did not really have the will and courage, to get to the real source of the problem! ‘Worse’ if I had not been aspiring in being a writer… to something, which others were resentful of, in a socially disadvantaged situation… I dare say these situations would not have occurred, and I would not be ‘still’ facing the challenges I am now.
It is a damning indictment on society, when those who risk ‘everything’ and put their soul into doing something to advance, not just themselves, but for the betterment of the culture they live in… that they are not only chastened, and ridiculed, but those who should be deigned to protect them – the police, and other authorities, not only fail to do so, but actively collude to some extent – with those committing the real crimes, and perpetuating the abuse, and woeful hurt, which beget our society!
Nevertheless… you take the charges of: “cover up, abuse of position, and collusion,” which are arising in many parts of British Society now: everywhere from the NHS scandals – recently, where it seems reports of bad practice were buried to the extent – that this ‘has’ actually cost many lives; to allegations of our Government spying on its own people, and if this not horrendous enough – but also colluding with America in these activities; in fact – breaching the human rights of their own citizens.
It brings to mind the ‘extraordinary rendition’ of a Libyan Commander: Rendition-of-Abdel-Hakim under the previous Labour Government, and the signing off – of this by Jack Straw, in which Abdel was sent back to Libya, after being in exile – where he was subjected to years… of imprisonment and torture.
# These extreme travesties of justice are all too real, whether this is the: Stephen Lawrence case, Abdel Hakim, or myself… who experienced admittedly the lower end of this scale! This still amounted to the same lack of integrity and principle demonstrated by others, and consequently turned my life upside down for years. It feels as a betrayal of – what we all should ‘hold to be true…’ leaving something of a cold bitter taste – for a British society, I believe we should regard as an extended family in a ‘healthy’ country, at least; who are there to support you when life is difficult?
Rather instead, not conversely seek to undermine these traits, which I sincerely admire in others, and therefore seek to reflect in myself, and hopefully extend those sincere belief to others…
How much does ‘society’ both genders, but perhaps women in particularly... actually “sincerely” believe in sexual equality?
It took myself nearly ‘four years’ to complete a children’s Christmas picture book… *WWW.QUIRKYCLAUS.COM working at times day and night, which I naively thought initially… would only take a mere total – of just the ‘one year! ‘
Yes… I can hear it now: a veritable crescendo of children’s writers, and fellow illustrators… chortling most merrily – into their feathered quills, while they feverishly scrawl their next masterpiece.
Nonetheless, rather than experiencing a warm, and welcoming response from society: for a man hopefully exemplifying the traits of being sensitive, and comfortable enough… to be in touch with his inner child, and also perhaps feminine side? Conversely instead – I experienced much discrimination; worse this was particularly disappointing, as a significant proportion of this… actually arose from the representation of our society, who profess to wishing to see these socially progressive traits, and this ‘change’ exhibited the most – women!
For instance during this period, and even actually since… I was thrown out and dismissed from a number of bars: on one particular occasion – to place the issue in perspective… I had just done a turn on the ol’ karaoke, after temporarily leaving my writing aside.
At times I take to scribbling outside my usual environment – for the advantage of a refreshing change of perspective. Notwithstanding this – although this may have admittedly… even have actually been something of a surprise to myself – the performance – was not met with a veritablebombardment of assorted groceries, or more aptly: a copious influx of… glasses, bottles and beer cans, and perhaps for good measure… the odd – Molotov Cocktails…as you might expect, and I suspect deserved!
In fact, as I sat down… people indeed congratulated myself, and began asking for my cards, which I do make a point of carrying for promoting my writing; they had beforehand irregardless shown an interest in this, but peculiarly in comparison, nothing… until after my attempt at utterly humiliating myself.
Notwithstanding this… it was mostly the patrons of the bar who were asking – me for these cards not visa versa; people who are ‘down to earth,’ and are not afraid to enjoy themselves, and seize every fleeting opportunity Carpe diem… an’ all that! However, when I offered a card in a jovial attempt at humour – to one of the female bar staff: I was then accused of ‘touting’ my book to their patrons, when it had been – as I said their customers who had engaged me in requesting these initially, and actually afterwards… from a genuine sincere interest in my writing.
As a consequence, I was actually excluded from this bar. I do really think this was more down to the female staff there thinking in large part – a person has to be either one thing or the other: someone can’t write, and then get up and – sing, and not to mention… do a decidedly arguably passable impersonation of someone dancing.
For a number of years, I attended dance class, and indeed…. loved it, and have always thoroughly enjoyed – as the adage goes: dancing like no one is watching!
However, once again, this seems to have become yet another area – where men’s freedoms, and rights to expression… the way they choose to be – are often not necessarily respected.
I do feel society wishes to pigeon hole a person… in this case myself – for whatever reason, based on gender, and therefore expectations they wish to have of a person, and paradoxically – themselves; for all manner of reasons or rather excuses… including to allow themselves to feel more comfortable with the self-imposed limitations they have placed on themselves, which allow these people to feel comfortable with their own lives, but are ultimately – self defeating!
Surely whatever are beliefs happen to be… it is better for us ‘all’ to strive for these worthy ideals – regardless of gender, class or religion… and take the risk of being the very ‘best’ we can be!
In yet another establishment, some time before this… when I simply tried to speak to a female landlady – about her possible interest in the illustrations – I was compiling at the time at the time for the book, and if their own children perhaps like would like these in respect also of the layout of the book? Friendly enquiries with no ill intent. Instead from a mere polite enquiry – I was viewed as a potential sexual deviant, and once more – barred… or perhaps this was used more likely as an excuse to attempt to… knock down a man who was reaching for something they were afraid to do? If, at this point, it crosses your mind… ‘well I can understand their reaction.’ Or even, ‘quite rightly! ‘ in respect of sexual concerns at least.
Would you have held this same opinion, if in the event: the enquiring author – who chose to write a children’s story, had been a woman? Would this landlady – for that matter, and the various many other women – unfortunately, who have jumped to convenient assumptions?
Personally, I very much doubt it…
Nevertheless, it should be borne in mind… most incidences of paedophilia, and real emotional and physically abuse, four out of five – in fact… are actually committed by a family member or someone the victim in reality knows! In fact, I would suspect – the number who are male children’s authors… who’ve had the courage to devote four years of their life, and not to labour the point – too much… including the issues I have encountered with distribution actually… tenyears in my case; for something myself and other authors thoroughly believe in… well I’d imagine, it is in reality either negligible or a big fat round ‘zero!’
It would in fact make for a peculiarly lengthy process of any criminal intent… for anyone to spend the time I have… inthe pursuit of writing this book. Indeed – it is a great and genuine shame that these women – in this brief period of time they encountered my dreams and ambitions… could not make the effort to challenge their own prejudices, and what is necessarily considered ‘conventionally’ comfortable; as I have had in fact chosen to do most of my life… to succeed at what I sincerely believe in, and to aim in this hope – towards a better more open, and balanced society?
However, even on the simplest level, this is based on sexual discrimination, the most crassest of assumptions – that all men are seemingly potential sexual deviants! A person, would have thought that in the 21 century – people are aware… as was the case with certain female nursery teachers in news reports – at the time; women are just as likely unfortunately, or at least as nearly as… to be guilty of these crimes.
Nevertheless, a person – man or a woman should be judged on the “contentof their character,” not solely by their gender! It should go without saying, that a person should not be assumed more guilty than another… purely on the differences of their reproductive organs.
By the way… we all start off as women or rather… girls, but in the womb – for a man, one of the X chromosome transforms into a Y chromosome, and the prior girl’s clitoris becomes a penis. Although admittedly… this also begs the question ‘why do so many men and actually women… perhaps struggle to know where this is?’
The discrimination – unfortunately continued… almost unrelenting; a few more years ago – I recently experienced bullying, yet again lamentably primarily exhibited by women in the crescent, where I lived at this time. Clearly this on some pretence must make some women nervous… when they do not know which category to ‘conveniently’ stick you in.
Also, it had been implied… that in just by the mere fact I was writing a children’s book, as a ‘man…’ by both women and men, there is something amiss with me, in striving to be more! The situation on this crescent… with these women’s behaviour shamefully deteriorating yet further with them dashing back and forth amongst each other, indulging in further lies and idle gossip. These were tactics and behaviour… I would have thought disgraceful in the playground, never mind demonstrated by women in their 30’s in some instances, and others who were mothers’ of our next generation! Nevertheless, even this was not enough… repeatedly these women continued to lie, threatened to call the police and rung my landlord with many delusionary fabrications, such as I was staring through their window; who the estate agent – at the time… Homesure Properties… ‘Scott’ the owner stated he wished to end my tenancy!
Essentially… this situation arose, because ‘I’ for one – was not prepared to play it safe… in seeking to be more than merely a man, but be the very best I could be as a human being which is something we all should strive towards!
Unfortunately I feel this in contrast to the attitude of some women, who place the fact they are a woman – as being the first and foremost issue above everything else. However I am adamant, that these crass judgements on a person’s presumed role… and therefore repressions for our freedoms, and the right to pursue the life we wish; these ‘boxes’ imposed by society but ultimately perpetuated by ourselves as individuals… these must be broken, if not smashed to many blistering smithereens, so that there is no tell-tale trace of these left – at all!
~ Then I believe… the people of our society, and those of the world… will be free to be the individuals they wish to be, and we will ‘all’ be happier for it!
Nonetheless, this is not the first time this has happened… I could proffer near countless incidents, but it usually comes back to the same thing, that too many women – if you are not fitting tidily into their neat comfortably safe little boxes, and behaving as they wish you to do, then they will make life difficult for you.
My point is, what a sad state of affairs we live in – when I suspect, I would have experienced ‘far’ fewer problems and issues with many women… if I was conversely a lager swilling, football crazed, car and sex obsessed layabout; who was potentially either physically or emotionally derogatory towards women, or both. I am over-generalising of course, and I am not about to fall into a similar mistake and imply that all men are like this. Nevertheless… it certainly does seem – the less I thought: about emotions, caring, life and women, conversely – the more sense of a without doubt a misplaced sense of ‘respect…’ I demonstrated, I would receive from too many women. Instead of, so often… when I have left myself open because I have spiritual beliefs, and wish to grow… it too often seems I am instead leaving myself open – to be hurt.
And there’s a bigger picture here… an untold story; disconcertingly… a few years ago, when I was considering submitting my book to a children’s panel for review: the large proportion of whom… if not the vast majority who would be rating the merit of my book, and whether it appealed to these children – were girls, in fact only around 20%… of the children who comprised this panel were – boys.
As a society, are we disproportionally interested in the intellectual pursuits – of our girls, more than our boys? Are men just becoming the providers, as perhaps women – were considered in the past, in respect of being merely seen in terms of reproduction? Are we in danger of recreating the mistakes of the past, but in a different manner… a society where men are seen only… in terms of financial support, and other lesser, more trivial matters? Are we exchanging, one gross historical injustice, but for another, which is ultimately – just as arbitrary senseless, and insidious?
This is not to mention, that disgracefully some publishers will – actually only accept work from women. You only have to go the Writer’s and Artists Year book, to see this is the case. Then there is the Orange Book Prize, which can actually only be entered by women. Writing is not merely the preserve of men! Quite the contrary, once more from my experience – women get a lot more help and receive far less discrimination in this area than men, in this area! If you go to any writing group… in the vast majority of cases, women will tend to outnumber men – by quite a margin.
I have been to quite a few writing groups, and in everyone of these – this has been the case: in Bradford for instance, nearly ever week – in front of the other several members… all of whom were women, the female lecturer – would pass a sexual comment in my direction. When I complained in an email, and admittedly did not deal with it as well as I could, because I allowed my frustrations to build up… what happened? Well, the police arrived at my door and warned me off, when in effect it was myself who was being sexually harassed!
Fortunately, on this occasion, I could show them the email I sent to this lady, and my words, and my conviction in this email, that I would not be attending again, because of her behaviour. Nonetheless, this was gross sexual harassment, and for this to happen time, and again… for so many women to abuse their positions – for the sake of sexual aggrandisement or power – it undermines the whole philosophy and fight of the Suffragettes!
In many, ‘far’ too many respects I think a large proportion of women are not understanding what the Suffragettes stood, and fought for, and certainly the sacrifices they made – in their name! They are not only – failing to take advantage of this and progressing the rights of women, and by doing so ‘men’ but are actually risking squandering, what has been so dearly fought for. How many women for instance, are in reality – aware, that at the time of the Suffragettes… Strangeways Prison was filled with the sound of women screaming, who in their protests were being forced fed – a form of torture, many actually paying for this with their very lives?
# Fundamentally, I do feel many in the ‘West’ are presently mistakenly labouring under the misguided belief that sexual equality… is about ‘having’ more, when in actuality it is about women, ‘and’ men rising to the challenge of actually “being” more!
A few years ago, I watched Germaine Greer… someone I had very much admired – on a talk show, speaking with fathers who wished to see their children but on the whole, their estranged partners were unfairly keeping them away and denying access. However, instead of demonstrating sympathy with these fathers she behaved like a petulant child and used phrases similar to, and such as, “Well you know what it is like now!” “Women have had to put up with this sort of abuse for years!” This is absolutely ridiculous, I thought genuine sexual equality was based on men and women treating each other fairly and equally – not subjecting petty ‘one-upmanship’upon one another, when either gender holds the balance of power?
I believe a person should be their‘own’ person, but too often society expects you to conform and be like them… in a couple, a group, part of something they easily recognise; and people much of the time seem to regard you as less – if you are not…or can even resentful of you – for your freedom, when it is a choice they have equally made; likewise can behave discriminatory towards, or simply because you are not what they think you should be.
It seems to distinctly unnerve many, that you can be happy by yourself – without the attention of the opposite sex, because in being so, you are inadvertently questioning their status quo – what they think as being normal… and are perhaps asking more of them, than they actually are doing of themselves in reality, just by being yourself!
As a 48 years old, I recall as a teenager and even in fact – before then… in sincerely believing at this stage in our evolution – that women would be either making as much a move to choose the man… and positively being proactive in finding a good healthy relationship, which is – after all, if not ‘the’ most important area of life… certainly one of the most imperative areas – that make up the complicated tapestry of our existence. Not conversely in our society – that things would have barely have changed in too many respects, in the decades since I had these aspirations – as to how much better women and men could interact, and behave towards each other.
Shockingly also… that many women actively do not seemingly wish for things to actually change, and behave as such. Personally, I certainly did not think – at this place in our history and evolution, and our potential ‘bright’ future, that too often behaving respectfully – towards some women… is very rarely appreciated, and at times I have personally been left feeling disappointed – worse even taken advantage of on occasions, for just being open to who I am, and for those whom the prospect of progress, can actually scare them… even the prospect of there being a better way forward, can be daunting!
In reality… fighting for what you believe in, and trying to do the right thing – whatever the cost, I see as a reflection of inner strength, which we should ‘all’ irregardless of gender – be striving for!
* On a footnote, since writing this some years ago… while I am still encountering the same issues with too many women, and at times men of course, I have to say that in the past few years I have been remarkably impressed if not almost intimidated by a number of women I have met! For instance women who are practising Parkour, boy… the things they can do! Or rather girl… the things they can do!
For instance one girl in her late 20s early 30s I’d imagine who while I was messing around in a park playground (Yes, I’m immature enough to do that type of thing, try it some time?) showed me how she jumped onto the zip wire from a standing position… hurtling down this at speed, while I had up to that point been timidly sat on said contraption, holding on for dear life!
So things are changing, but there are a still a sizeable number of women who will knock men down they have designs on to make themselves feel better! I really wish and believe that those who sincerely believe in sexual equality, and understand the sacrifices many made, such as the suffragettes have in the past… I wish they would come together and bring an end to this?
True equality is about encouraging the best from each and every one of us… there is no place for small minded bigotry.
# “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” John F. Kennedy
*I would be glad of any positive input please: Women ‘and’ men working together towards a more mature, progressive, compassionate and balanced future?